If You Know, You Know

May 13, 2025

If You Know, You Know: 10 Things Only Payroll Professionals Understand

There’s something about working in payroll that binds us together — a shared sense of pride, pressure, and “why is this still happening?” energy that only people in it truly understand.

Whether you’ve been in the job for a few months or a lifetime, there are moments that every payroll professional can relate to. It’s technical, it’s relentless, and it’s often invisible — until something goes wrong.

So, here’s a light-hearted look at some of the things only payroll pros will truly “get.”

If you know, you know…

1. When someone says “It’s just pressing a button,” and you feel your soul leave your body.

Because that “button” is backed by legislation, deadlines, exception reports, reconciliations… and probably a spreadsheet with 38 tabs.

2. That Friday feeling… when everyone else is off to the pub, and you’re still checking BACS totals.

Your reward? Peace of mind — and possibly a reheated sandwich.

3. Being asked, “Can you just tell me my take-home pay if I change my pension, work fewer hours, and move house?”

Of course, Susan. Let me grab my magic calculator and psychic powers real quick.

4. The heart-stopping moment when the payslip total doesn’t match the payroll summary… by 1p.

And yes, you will find it. Even if it takes the rest of the day.

5. When it’s payroll cut-off day and you’re firefighting missing data from every direction…

Everyone else may have flexibility now, but payroll doesn’t run on wishful thinking. You’re still the one chasing timesheets, approvals, and absence reports while the clock ticks.

6. “I didn’t get paid!” (checks: they did). “Oh, it’s just not hit my account yet.”

Smile. Reassure. Repeat. Internally? Scream.

7. “Cut-off” day: when the rest of the business goes quiet… and payroll chases everyone.

Because you won’t leave people out — you know it’s more work fixing it later (and people still need to pay their rent).

8. **When that one culprit sends their timesheet in on time, accurate, and approved for the first time ever!**

An absolute unicorn. If you know, you know.

9. That moment when HMRC issues “clarification” — and you realise you have to re-do it all.

You interpreted the guidance, applied it in good faith… and now they’ve changed their mind. Again. Time to backtrack, rework, and explain (yet again) why payroll isn’t “just a button.”

10. **You process hundreds of perfect payments… but it’s the one wrong amount that steals the spotlight.**

No one remembers the payslips that were right — but they’ll always remember that one.

💬 What would you add to the list?

This post is just for fun — but it’s also a reminder of the incredible detail, care, and consistency that goes into payroll behind the scenes.

Got a moment that only fellow payroll people will understand?
Drop it in the comments — I’d love to hear them!

#Payroll #PayrollProfessionals #IfYouKnowYouKnow #BehindThePayslip #PayrollHumour #ConsultancyWithHeart #EiraConsulting

If You Know, You Know